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15 entries this month
PRIVATE ENTRY
20:02 Feb 29 2008
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Haha,21:28 Feb 28 2008
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This is silly, but I feel like a kiddie who is excited about going to holiday. The weekend is coming, and I get some time for myself! Albeit I need to spend some "family" time with Mum and Pat...I pretty well most have at least 6+ hours for me!! YAY! Weekend schedule:
Saturday 09.30 ->10.30 gym
" 11.30->18.00 approx Pat
" 19.00->Bedtime, Me time!!
Sunday 10.30->11.30 gym
12.30->18.00 Mothers day family thing
19.00->Bedtime, Me time!!
It is so silly getting excited about spending time on your own, but damn I so need it! I am grateful for every moment. Some times I just have to laugh as I can do nothing else when you don't even have enough time to construe sentences properly to speak to people!!
So, please excuse me if I don't get a reply back straight away!
Fucktard?22:26 Feb 20 2008
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Hmm, Fucktard..what is a fucktard? Come here and I will tell you what a real FUCKTARD truly is. Yes, I was angry today but I had a laugh later under my breath cos when I called him a fucktard as I had never heard the word before until recent times in Vampire Rave! It must be an American thing LMAO!
Well! today I was driving on a dual carriageway at the national speed limit of 70mph, when the second car in front of me, braked and pulled over on a verge 150 feet away from an offical carparking/rest area that was in vision! The car behind him had to apply their brakes, and in turn, I had to emergency brake also. When I braked my car skidded to the right into the fast lane were there was on- coming traffic, and he had to swerve to get into the slow lane I had just vacated to avoid hitting me. Then he had to brake also!
My God was it scary..but the FUCKTARD who pulled his car over to the side of the road was obilivious to what was going on as he had a fecking mobile phone to his ear! So, he put all users on the road at risk because of his actions!!! Now that is my defination of what a true fucktard and freeking idiot truly is, one who doesn't give a hoot about anyone else and their safety and you know what.. I bet he could spell!
Smiles23:36 Feb 19 2008
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My thanks to those who sent me and my family messages of sympathy. It is much appreciated and very kind fo you.
I will get back on top of things here again soon. I started to reply to some of the messages today and I am sorry that I was slow in replying..it's just it was difficult being social in such a climate.
PRIVATE ENTRY
22:01 Feb 17 2008
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Ann21:40 Feb 14 2008
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Ann died today. Today is the day of love, and she was so full of that. Everyone loved to see Ann, to talk with Ann, to laugh with Ann. It fits that she died on the day of love, and yet she was so young.
She awoke this morning, washed and got dressed. Then she lit the fire and sat down on the sofa to have a cup of tea. Resting quietly she slipped into the netherland, and died as she sat.
Yes, she was a member of my family and we will be attending the funeral on Sunday.
Okay..22:23 Feb 09 2008
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I am in a twist today and so far it has been a bad month..at least personally which is more important than the work stuff.
My sister isn't well now, and Mum and my other sister are in Spain. That leaves me. My Dad can't handle this.
I washed her, I dressed her, I walked her. It is so darn diffcult to push so much weight around, and I hurt my back which resulted in having to call the auxilary for some help. I must look into the costing of a motorized wheelchair for her. Noone should live their life without some degree of independance., come on its about diginity!
Arrested23:02 Feb 06 2008
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I am being arrested by the police and being placed in jail, unless I raise enough money for a bail bond. Bail is set at £500.00 british pounds!
It should be fun, we are trying to raise £50,000 pounds for Breast Cancer, & Motor Neurone Disease. I will be working with our local radio station, the DJ there is a hoot and he is being arrested too haha! well, it should be a very different sort of day out!
Confusing Behaviour22:38 Feb 05 2008
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I am thinking of physical abuse and mental abuse, and I am wondering is there really that big of a difference between them? Whilst physical abuse can leave bruises and scars, mental abuse can also do the same.... I think.
Yesterday, I was not physically violated, but the pain hurt just as much in my heart from the words of someone very close to me... a family member.
You see, when the apologies came the day after when he was in a state of sobriety, and the insults and pain he delivered when he was drunk the night before by authoring them in a letter to me.
Apparently during the drinking stage he was angry, and just decided to take it out on someone that he felt he could shout at from a safe distance (like thousands of miles safe distance!) without thinking of the dire consequences of his actions and words.
Well, next day I get an apology and everything is meant to be okay??? And the excuse, sorry but I was drunk, and didn’t really mean it, and I really do love you.. I mean wtf, am I meant to accept this..?? I am just awfully confused..
Devastated21:55 Feb 04 2008
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Today I have been ripped apart by the cruelest blow, authored by a savage hand in a drunken blur. It hurt like hell, and my world shakes as I try not to spill the tears my heart cries out.
*!&!*** GRRRR18:25 Feb 03 2008
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My freezer went on the blink last night. I lost an entire stock of food, including chicken breasts, southern fried chicken and a turkey crown. I am so pissed about that, and now I have to go buy another freezer on top of everything else!! I could do with a good vodka absoulute but I am of the funny stuff for Lent, *double grrssss*
Crepes20:14 Feb 02 2008
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Tonight I made crepes for the first time, and whilst the first one went into a concertina shape the second one turned out just fine. I was proud as punch, considering it was my first time making them! I served them up with maple syrup, manadrins and a little cream. They did taste good!! Next time its brandy and flame *chortle*
Get my drift?20:17 Feb 01 2008
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One thing I will say is that I do feel pretty comfortable with myself. I'd say that I am well balanced, and as far as I am aware liked by all who know me in real life. I wouldn't go as far to say that I am center of attraction in groups as I steer away as much as I can from that hating to bring attention on myself, but I certaintly would be the more risque, and fiesty than some others!
I like to have fun, laugh. I knew a lady from Texas once who was a friend of Cancer's and we had the same kind of humour, damn did that lady and I have some laughs the times we talked on the phone together!!
I dont like sucky sucky up kinda people, in fact it churns my stomach and I am glad I am not that type. I stand in my corner, and if there is something that I think is "odd"...well I will say what it is, rather than sucking up. Get my drift? I am odd, its easier to agree for some people, but I'm my own kind of person and stay true to my own beliefs unless persuaded otherwise by further knowledge.
Uuum, maybe I am too independent and sometimes I wish I were not as strong as I am, cos I think that I need a "breather" from that. Get my drift? umm
Anyway this journal entry is all about me, and I am growing weary..maybe I just need someone stronger than me, to take me in their arms and tell me, "It's all going to be okay, and you can just let go a bit now" Get my drift?
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COMMENTS
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Sinora
22:44 Feb 28 2008
lmao....the fact that you wrote out a schedule tells me you need it....I know how you feel, take the phone off the hook and enjoy x
ChaosBleed
01:43 Feb 29 2008
TAKE IT, IT'S YOURS (sorry, just watched Troy)
SeleneTremere
19:47 Mar 05 2008
About time darlin. I've been tellin you you needed a break.